recently, i browsed thru friendster. Realised that some of my friends i used to hanged out together are having so much fun. haha. seems like im getting old for fun?? i see people going places, taking lots of pix, going wake boarding...etc....

so fun....

i feel that bei is getting boring of me. i seems to become more and more boring for her. looks like i turning her life into a boring life. shit.

maybe i should wake up and do something about it... try to make your life more exciting.... hmmm... yes...

sorry bei....

recently, i felt really low. no money.

made her feel why i USED to be rich, and now.....

she aint in good mood recently due to financial issues.

cant help but thinking why am i making her feel this way.

there is really nothing i can do?


i agree that i haven been buying anything for her....

how i wish i could give her a surprise gift....

but, till now, NOTHING.....


all this aint what i used to be....

i used to pamper, but now, i am down till the point where i cant do anything to save what i missed....


i'm really sorry....

i'm so helpless now.....


looks like i should get myself into a very serious self reflection.....

i hate myself....

when will the suffering i am giving end????